Youth Ministry Tips From A Potty Mouthed Scotsman

Gordon Ramsay is a potty mouthed scotsman, chef, and star of tv's Hell's Kitchen and Kitchen Nightmares. In a recent episode of Kitchen Nightmares, I was reminded of a few things he said that apply to youth ministry, ministry and life in general.


Cook It Fresh

If you want to tic off Gordon Ramsay, just let him find you storing food that you plan to reheat later for customers. He is emphatic about serving food fresh. He will tear up kitchen and a chef for attempting to fool the customer. So true is this in ministry. Our students know the difference between relying on some tired rhetoric instead of a message from the heart of God birthed in prayer and study. Whether it's programming or the weekly message, keep it fresh! Or Chef Ramsay will get you!

Take it Serious

If Gordon Ramsay has a sense of humor we do not know it. He may have been born with out one but I'm not willing to say that to his face. He takes his craft seriously and expects the chefs he works with to do the same. I have worked with those who fall to pieces when the littlest thing goes wrong ( OK, it's me) and I usually comfort them by saying, "Look, it's only ministry". This is a habit I need to break. Ministry, pastoring , working with teens is important. It is unfortunate that many youth pastors feel that reaching more students with the gospel, making hard discipleship decisions and doing all they can with what they have takes too much work. To them life is one big Lock In and as along they are getting paid, life is good. The times are changing. Youth ministry professionals have to show the value of their office. The stakes are getting higher. Take your ministry and calling seriously.

Tell The Truth (In Love)

Gordon minces no words. Whether he is talking about the food, the service or personal hygiene he is brutally honest. He is willing to spit the food right out of his mouth if it's not right. He uses the truth to shape people. From what I can tell, he sees coddling others as a luxury he cannot afford. How much coddling do we do? How often do we string someone along hoping they will get better? Gordon is trying to turn around a restaurant and sees his time as precious.He does not have time for those who don't have the chops for being a chef. He tests their mettle. I don't know if it is for love of people that Gordon says what he says but he certainly says it for love of food.

Add A Clever Curve To Your Menu

Our chef takes boring, stale, uninviting menu's and adds creativity and punch. In one kitchen he recommends a chef's table right in the kitchen where people can see the inner workings. In a soul food kitchen in Brighton he comes up with Soul in a Bowl; a hearty helping of various menu offerings. Are your students bored? Are they tired of not what is on the menu but how the food is prepared and served? Look at the menu of programming you are offering. If you were a restaurant would you get four or five stars or would the spiritual health dept. shut you down or worse, would you simply be unmentionable?


Do What You Are Passionate About

One final piece of advice from our cranky chef. Be passionate about what you do. Life is too short for bad food. it is also to short to be in a position that drains your passion instead of fuels it. That is not to say that we will always be happy in our position but our passion should make us want to fight to stay there. Are you unhappy? Make a list of things (or people) worth fighting for or worth fighting through. Students don't learn anything from a quitter except when times get tough, just quit Students and the church know when we are not giving our best. If you are not passionate about doing ministry full time find something you are passionate about and do that. Gordon Ramsay commands you!

Let the sparks fly,

Paul

Throwing The Red Flag

I always have fun with my youngest son Jon. He is a bundle of fun and creativity. Last night, with all the enthusiasm he could muster told me how this guy on tv focused his Chi and slammed chopsticks into a piece of wood. I said, "Did you just say Chi Jon?" He said, "Yep." and then talked about how a guy could stand on a bunch of eggs with breaking any of them."

I threw the spiritual version of a football coaches red flag. It was time for a review. The play did not look right and I wanted a closer look. I did not want the opposing team to get something they had not earned. Now, I am not a New Age-ologist, understanding all things crystal or mystical but I am familiar with Chi. Chi is "the life giving energy that unites body, mind and spirit. Everyone has Chi. When you die, your Chi is no longer there."

My point is not to describe Chi but to ask and wonder how many parents would have missed that part of their kids story and said, "That's nice dear."

How many things do we hear everyday that go unchallenged. I am not saying we should die on every hill but I am not going to let my son start believing he has Chi and try to walk on our eggs. Although that would be a sight to behold. I am saying, as youth workers and parents we have to throw the red flag and call for a review especially among our believing students.

Statements that require the red flag

-Religions are all the same.
-As long as it makes you happy.
-It's ok if you really love them.
-God's doesn't care about....(my music, my hobbies, etc.)
-swearing (Yeah, I think it matters)
-Lewdness (speech is a big deal but we don't have to make a BIG deal about it)
-rudeness (manners and kindness matter)

As youth worker we have to keep our ears open to pluralistic and inclusive theology that invites a loving challenge. Challenging statements will sharpen a kids faith if we ask them to show us from the Bible why they think the way we do.

To ignore statements because we don't want to offend or come off as a religious bigots will only further a students biblical ignorance and could eventually undermine their faith. How did I tackle my 8 year olds sudden fascination with Chi?

I told him that for believers in Jesus we cannot fault Chi for our behavior. Life maybe out of balance but it is because our relationship with God is out of balance. It could be because we are not obeying God's word or not walking in the Spirit of Christ, the Holy Spirit.

My son understood, to a point but I am just glad I threw the red flag rather than let the game play on. First down, dad!

Paul

Simply Youth Ministry Bringing A Gift To The Party!

Simply Youth Ministry is on the guest list for my 100th Blogday Party Happening Next Thursday, March 27th!

Simply Youth Ministry will be giving away a $300 All Access Pass to Simply resources and materials. All you have to do is show up next Thursday, leave a comment on what we might be doing in youth ministry in 100 years and you are registered to win. Winners wil be notified at the end of the day.

Simply Youth Ministry is an outstanding resource center for youth ministries . Check them out at www.simplyyouthministry.com


PT

The Passionate Youth Worker Part Deaux

I'm currently reading a book called "How The Irish Saved Civilization". In this book there is a great quote that Thomas Cahill spreads like a banquet before us and I believe applies to youth ministry. I will address the first part of the quote in this blog:

"What is really lost when a civilization wearies and grows small is confidence, a confidence built on the order and balance that leisure makes possible. Again (Dr. Kenneth) Clark "Civilisation requires a modicum (small amount) of material prosperity- enough to provide a little leisure. But, far more, it requires confidence - confidence in the society in which one lives,belief in it's philosophy, belief in it's laws, and confidence in one's own mental powers....Vigour, energy, vitality: All the great civilisations, or civilising epochs- have had a weight of energy behind them."

Wow, ok, you may have to read that a few times, I did. I will take the first part fo this quote and dissect it in this blog and save the second paragraph for my next blog.

We pastor small civilizations. Students are a collection of tribes which gather for weekly "war council". They are a society which gathers to talk, listen and engage one another. Most youth ministies do not require big buildings, video games, pool tables, etc. They are nice but they do not make the tribes who they are. You could empty your rooms and put nothing but a ball in there and you students would create their own fun and would be better than anything we could dream up. Why? These students need very little in materials but need much on relationships. It is not the ball that bring the energy but the interaction with one another.

This energy comes from the need to agree. Agree on rules, standards, etc. To have the maximum amount of fun there must be agreement. Also in our tribe are triabl leaders and they include our Pastor, Board, Staff, Youth Leaders and Parents. For our group of tribes to function as the chruch there must be:

First and foremost a commitment and confidence in Christ the person and savior.If a group does not have confidence in their own salvation much time will be spent in pursuading them that they are saved and they must live for Christ.

The second confidence is in it's philosophy. In other words, how our youth ministry get's done. This is where there must be agreement on what programs are offered and how those programs are carried out.

The third confidence is in it's laws. What is your groups mission or purpsoe statement? Do you provide ways for students to fulfill this purpose or mission. I beleive thsi also goes to how fairness and judgement is carried out within your group. Does the trouble maker always get to go on the retreat? Do you always use the same people and play favorites?

The fourth and final confidence is in their own mental powers. The tribes will function better when they understand that anyone in the group can make it and attain a level of respect. The only way for students to gain this confidence in themsleves is for them to attempt the daring and fail greatly all the while having adults below with a safety net and an affirmation that they will do it next time.

In order for us to have passionate youth ministries we must create a society of confident students. Many leave the chruch because they have lost confidence in the above principles that made these societies work.If your youth group balloon is losing air(confidence) and altitude(success); take stock to see which hole of confidence you need to plug.

Paul

The Passionate Youth Worker Part Uno

Have you ever stood in front of your apathetic, passionless students and wondered, "What is wrong with these people?" If I had a dollar for everyone one of those thoughts, let's just say I would be writing this from a beach somewhere sipping virgin daiquiris. Passionless students could be the result of a passionless youth worker. Now, that does not mean that the youth worker does not love God or their students. Let me offer a few ideas to raise the passion level of your group.

Enthusiasm and passion play a large part in motivation.

When you are plugging your next event are you excited about it even if it''s a lock in? it's hard to be excited about everything so pick an event of the month to put all your energy and enthusiasm behind. If we are passionate about too many events our students passion will be divided.

Did the students plan it? Or is this just another great idea from the youth worker?

The more students plan and have input into to the more excited they will be. You can always refer to the last leadership or planning meeting you had to remind those students of the time and effort they put in. Better still allow your more excited students to get up and announce the event for a few weeks.

Be passionate about the tough stuff.

This would be a no brainer except for the fact that some events may be mandated by your church or pastor. Students will know when you are excited and when you are not. Gain courage and throw yourself into that mandatory event and then figure how to put a twist into it, how to make it uniquely your own. This way you can still pull off the event and be proud to promote it to your students.

Be positive in the face of fear.

Fear can often steal our passion. We maybe afraid that no one will come or no one will like the event when they get there. You have to be the most positive person about it. Your even may have challenges and maybe even some clunkyness but even that can be turned around to make the event memorable but you have to stay positive. Your positive attitude will be infectious and others will catch on and spread that attitude around. Suddenly, you got the best event going.

Release the Hounds!!

If you are a fox hunter or prison guard after an escaped convict you would know the saying, "Release the hounds!!". Or, if you ever saw the Jerry Seinfeld commercial for Chevron. I can't help but think that students are hungry to do more, say more and find more meaning. They are hunting it down like bloodhounds. When we do for students what they should do for themselves we throw them off the trail. the scent is gone. Students will pick up the trail that leads to expression and individuality. We lose students not because we expect too much but too little or nothing at all.

We are in week two of training for The Disciple Project at Graysville and I can see hunger begin to return. For the past two weeks I sat back and allowed our worship leader to start the service. She is a great worship leader. She want to good so she'll glance at me or ask me when do we want to start. I will answer with a questions, "When do you want to start?". She is getting used to the fact that someone trusts her judgement. Someone believes in her and the other students of this ministry. We have the unique opportunity to see a student led ministry emerge discover who they should be in Christ and to allow their passions to drive ministry. I love them to much to allow anything else.

Do you have students chomping at the bit to lead or do have students who look to you to get the service started? How can you have a a more student led ministry? How can students try and fail like real disciples? Here's a few tips:

1. Get out of the way. Are you consumed with having the perfect service? Hand off as much as you can and keep what you are good at.

2. Is there a class you require for leaders? Can you shorten it or eliminate anything that throws your kids off the scent?

3. Create space for change. Let something(programs, trips, etc) die that do not lead to kids leading and let kids fill in the gaps.

4. Get over yourself. Don't let pride or excuses keep you back from seeing God do tremendous things through students. let them steal the show and God will get the glory.


If the leash you are holding is burning your hand from holding students back; then I say, "Release the hounds!!"

Sub-Merged:Adventures In Substitute Teaching Episode 2

Hey all,

Been a while since I have blogged. I don't know if it is because I have nothing to say or I am just too tired to say whatever may be lingering in my mind. Anyway, I continue to substitute teach and for the most part have found it enjoyable. I can tell that my relational style takes most student my surprise. They expect me to be harsh and irrelevant. They don't know my 20 year secret of hanging out with them. I recently did two days at a middle school. Two days in a row at a middle school wore me out. I met one of those girls who just rolls her eyes, slumps and basically communicates in her mind that she'd like your head to explode. That was pleasant.

I tried my best to communicate with her that I did not want to write her up. She found my little talk quaint and quite bothersome. I had to just wrap it up with a, "shut your mouth and you won't get in trouble" That went over like telling Lindsey Lohan she shouldn't have another drink. My heart went out to her. I felt sorry for her. I flashed forward in my mind and saw her future a screwed up mess. I saw a girl who hated life, bitter and unteachable. I saw her railing about how unfair life was to her and blaming the government, society, her parents and even me for her downfall. Everyone but herself. So, next time she hassle me, I'm writing her up. Maybe even have a part in a brighter future.

Sparks anyone?

Sub-Merged:Adventures In Substitute Teaching Episode 1

Hey,

Welcome to my new series on my adventures in Substitute teaching. I have been subbing for the past 2 months and actually get a lot of joy out of it. In a way it's like being a grandparent. You can hang and talk with the kids and then you get to send them home and you don't have to see them for weeks! I also look at it as my own youth group. This irreligious (although spiritual) bunch of rabble rousers are mine for the day. They test me and my patience but somehow I endure it and love it. It's a new environment for me. God Bless all my youth groups. I would come in and I am greeted by hugs and high fives. For the first time I subbed I was barely acknowledged.

Junior Highers treat me like the shiny thing the water. What is that? Let's investigate.

Sr. Highers see me as a predator of the deep seeking to eat their fun. They grunt and sit down.

Anyway, here is a brief story of my first day.

My first day was Middle School Girls P.E. Can you imagine? Wow, I thought, if I can survive this I can survive anything. I was teamed with a great teacher who played for Pat Summit at the U of T. She was in charge and I rode her coat tails.

One young lady came up to me (remember I am such a man) and I thought she asked me for a pen.
I said "sure."
She said "no, I need a pad."
I said, "A pad? Sure I got one in my brief case."
she said , "No, a girl pad."

Ah, the lights went on. I said "Dear, you can have as many as you want."

That was my first day. I'll have other stories to share in the near future.

Why Don't Football Players Go Wee Wee After the Game?

This was the question asked and sparked the research of Dr. Robert Cade at the University of Florida. Robert Cade began to experiment with the sports drink to help the foot ball team replace valuable electrolytes and nutrients during the game. Gatorade was invented as a result of asking questions. You may be trying to figure out a problem by looking to answers. It sounds like the best ideas are found by thinking of the questions.

why don't students want to come to church?
Why don't they want to stay in church?
why don't students want to have a devotional life?
why do they smell like that?

You get the point. Start with questions and then brainstorm the answers. Who knows maybe you'll invent or reinvent a much needed resource for the youth ministry world.

PT

Stories From St. Louis

Here is mary Huebner and I working the Unkommonmedia.com booth in St. Louis. We had a great time talking to youth workers about sharing all the creative, original ideas they've used over the years with the rest of the youth worker community. Unkommon Media is an online publishing house for the common man/woman.

I had the best conversations that week. I met a Catholic Evangelist (lay person who basically witnessed to me about the church) who wanted me to return to the church. She told me I could always come back. I grew up Catholic and never met a catholic who told me I could come back. Who was genuinely interested in my participation with the Catholic body. Kudos to her. I was so excited to meet a passionate Catholic I was ready to convert. Alas, the theological jump was too far.

The second conversation I had was with a young man (18-25) wearing a Notre Dame sweat shirt. Instead of laying my Unkommon Media jargon on him I wanted to talk about football. After 15 minutes he stared at me and said thanks. I asked him why. He said, "All i have been talking about for two days was youth ministry, thanks for talking with me about football. I need that." What a great encounter. I was glad to be able to minister to him.

My last meeting happened with an author who was sitting art our booth Sarah Cunningham. I had read her book Dear Church and it really got me converted from defending the establishment to questioning it in a loving way. She was kind but I could tell she was weary of discussing her thoughts from 3 years ago.

I am looking forward to more encounters and more stories to tell when I am at the Atlanta YS. If you are there come by the Unkommon Media booth.

PT

Here it is!! After a few years of trial and error I have published my first e-book.

Are you prepared to dig deep for the answers? Crime Scenes from the Old Testament gives you interactive lessons and puts your students at the scene of the crime. These are great to spice up your sunday school, small group, retreat or midweek meeting.
Each part has four lessons on such Bible characters as Gideon, Sampson, Joseph and more. Each part comes with four lessons and downloadable crime scene photos (over 100 in all)

Your students will discover the clues, the cause and their character in Crime Scenes from the Bible.

Visit my friends at
unkommonmedia.com to get yours today.

Paul

Back To The Journey

This is the youth group at Graysville Church of God. They don't have a youth pastor right now but you would never know that by their smiles and passion for God. I have had the privilege of filling in and speaking every week for the past 6 weeks. These students are outstanding. They have a tremendous worship team and their friendliness is second to none.They love God and want to serve him and I wanted to give them props for keeping there hopes high and praying while waiting for what God will do next. I hope to keep speaking there as long as they will have me and who knows I'd like to see them do The D-Project and watch their gifts and talents shine even brighter bringing glory to God. Way to go Graysville, hang in there.

PT